If you have ever been told from another individual to "Stop acting black," Well, DO NOT worry, there is finally a cure! Following these few simple steps below has been scientifically proven to keep down the appearance of acting "too black".
STEP 1: If you are a lady you must immediately, without question, call up your hairstylist and remove ALL hair weave and extensions. This includes sew-ins, glue-ins, wigs....you name it....it has GOT to go! Since black women are the only group of ethnicity's that wear extensions because of their lack of hair growth, disassociating yourself from this terrible habit will alleviate any appearance that you may be acting "too black". (By the way...has anyone ever checked out Jessica Simpson and Paris Hilton's new hair extension line? Very nice! Since blacks mostly only buy hair extensions from Koreans....you may be able to purchase from these lines instead, if you feel the need to revert back. And WOW, I still can not figure out how Brittany Spears managed to grow her hair out practically overnight after she had that public meltdown when she shaved her head bald....AMAZING!)
STEP 2: When you are having a conversation, please do not swing or move your neck in any quick motion repeatedly. This is potentially displaying a perceived bad attitude that could quickly be confused with black behavior (particularly if you are a female). After all, only black women get angry and decide to display their anger by moving their neck. I can honestly say that I have never seen another group of women who displayed any other ridiculous behavior when they get angry. (Does anyone know how much Tiger Wood's ex-wife received from their divorce? I heard she smashed his car with a golf club! I guess she did that as a sign of her love??)
STEP 3: Pull your pants up nice and high. Make sure there are no boxers showing, or any indication of underwear. (Funny, the other day I was driving past a school that is known to be very culturally diverse and it appeared that every single little boy was dressed exactly alike. Strange considering kids usually want to stand out from the crowd right?)
STEP 4: Under NO circumstances should you run. This especially applies to men. Making any sudden movements, jumping included, will automatically make you appear suspicious ...i.e. You may look like you stole something. Blacks are the only people who steal, and apparently, the only people who are able to move their joints. ( OMG, you must watch Cops! There are a lot of incredible moves I have never seen from all ethnicity's. Incredible! And holy crap, check out some of those guys who won some of our previous slam dunk contests. They can really jump for some white guys huh?).
STEP 5: Refrain from using the N-word at all times. This is their inside lingo...and only blacks use this word. And I also must point out that if you are using this word (and you are not black), but someone from the black culture actually hear you say it, regardless of how close you are (in relationship), or if you are directing it to a person who is not black....lets just say if I were you.....
I would break STEP 4....immediately. (Personally, because of the origin of this word, I do not agree with anyone using it. But if I can remember correctly, I believe there was that guy off that popular t.v. show Seinfield, who screamed out the N- word as one of his comedy routines. I wonder how he is doing now after that scandal? You may want to google that and let me know).
And finally,
STEP 6: Replace the apple that is currently in your mouth with a spoon and practice speaking. This will ensure that you sound less black. You know what I mean? Sounding less black will prove that you are educated, well rounded and most importantly, have proper manners. Blacks usually are never in high positions and are definitely not known to ever be educated. (Did anyone get a chance to see President Obama's speech last night? Great speech right? But I still have the hardest time trying to figure out whether or not he has more than a high school education. I mean, who would require the person who runs our country to have anything more?"
GET REAL! JUST BECAUSE A PERSON IS EDUCATED, SPEAKS PROPER, AND KNOWS HOW TO CONDUCT THEMSELVES IN A WELL MANNERED BEHAVIOR....DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE ACTING WHITE.
Written By: Te-Shandra Haskett, MBA
Dedicated to ANYONE who has ever tried to conqueor the ignorance of other people.
"In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us (Romans 8:37)."
*Please forward to the next person so they can get the help they need*
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