YES, I ADMIT IT, I AM....
PERFECT!!! (I wonder how many people clicked on this thinking I was going to say pregnant?)
Anyways folks, you read the statement above correctly. I AM PERFECT! Absolutely without flaws. I honestly do not understand why I was chosen to be the only individual to actually be.....perfect? Hard to believe? Well, that is because you are not as perfect as me and naturally you lack the ability to fully understand perfection. So, for your convenience, included in this blog is a concise list, the definition, AND why my name should be right beside the word "perfection." (I am completely shocked my name is not already next to it. I guess whoever wrote the definition lacked perfection?)
Okay,...here goes, and please make sure you read the very last "special statement" at the end of this blog....It is the ultimate reason why I am so perfect!
Definition of PERFECT (INSERT MY NAME PLEASE)
(per·fect) adj \ˈpÉ™r-fikt\ (merriam webster)
#1.
I FOLLOW AND PRACTICE
EVERYTHING I SHARE ON MY BLOGS
I was trying really hard to not laugh while writing this statement. I should seriously read my own words and take my advice.
#2.
NOT ONLY DO I LIKE EVERYONE,
BUT I SHOW EVERYONE LOVE
Not even in my dreams. There are a lot of people I do not like and I certainly do not feel any love towards them....My neighbors hardly ever get a chance to see me. They are nice folks...but please.... I am not going to waste my time on petty conversations.
#3.
I HAVE NEVER TOLD A LIE
I just lied with that statement!
#4.
MY INTELLIGENCE IS SO OVERWHELMING BUT I NEVER CONSTANTLY GET FRUSTRATED WITH THE FOOLISHNESS OF OTHERS
Please, I wish I knew more. Unfortunately everyday is a complete learning process for me. And sometimes I STILL get it wrong. Unbelievable! And the more people I meet, the more I love my animals.
#5.
PHYSICALLY I AM FLAWLESS
Not EVEN in my perfect dreams
#6.
I ALWAYS GIVE TO THE POOR
Sure, if there happens to be change that slips out of my pocket when I am walking by a homeless person.
#7.
BECAUSE I LOVE EVERYONE, I HAVE NEVER SAID ANYTHING BAD ABOUT ANYONE....EVER!
Well at least not within the past two seconds. I am setting records!
#8.
I ALWAYS EAT HEALTHY
BECAUSE MY BODY IS MY TEMPLE
I have to tell you....all of those cookies I have been addicted to eating all week....you have to email me so I can send you the information about these amazing cookies.Gosh, I just polished one off now.
#9.
I HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO HURT ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL IN MY LIFE.
I AM COMPLETELY APPALLED THAT ANYONE WOULD SUGGEST THAT!! AND JUDGEMENTAL? WHO....ME....NEVER
Ummmm.....have you read some of my blogs....I am a pretty straight forward about what I think. I just need to learn to keep my mouth shut sometimes.
#10.
PLEASE REFER BACK TO NUMBER ONE AGAIN
FACT: There is no way that I actually do most of the stuff that I should. I am far from perfect. And as much I as try, I will never get there. Guilty? Yes, of imperfection, not perfection. Not to mention that I am actually more imperfect than most. Why? Because I know what to do, tell others what they should do, but then I do not take my own advice. So, do you know what the true word would be to describe me??
A HYPOCRITE..........
Yes folks....I am a hypocrite and I am not proud of it. But before you go any further and judge me....I have a secret to tell you.....keep scrolling down.....
I am a HYPOCRITE....BUT SO ARE YOU!
(This is the special statement I was referring to in the beginning).
"Beware of your friends;
do not trust your brothers.
For every brother is a
deceiver,
and every friend a slanderer
(Jeremiah 9:4)."
Te-Shandra Haskett, MBA
Please forward this to all of your friends who think they are perfect.
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